The Pillow Book Outtake 1: Ideal Father

The question we’ve all being dying to get an answer to: What happened after Dong Hua told his son “Gun Gun, I am your father.”

It was the middle of the night when Bai Gun Gun got up from bed. Although he was half asleep and his eyelids were heavy, he knew in his heart that it was the first moment of Yin, and it was time to get up to tuck his mother back under the quilt. Gun Gun took a moment before finally opening his eyes. He looked to his side, only to find that the quilt beside him was empty.

He was startled and almost fell off the bed. He finally remembered that he hadn’t slept in a room with his mother for a month. His mother was injured and had been in a coma for over a month. The handsome uncle, who claimed to be his father had been taking care of his mother, and they slept together in the next room.

Bai Gun Gun remembered that very day, a month ago. Uncle Xie Guzhou had brought him here to look for his mother, and he came across the beautiful uncle who had his hair colour.

The handsome uncle asked him who he was, and he told him honestly, that he was Jiu Jiu’s son. The handsome uncle then spilt the bowl of medicine on the spot. Curious, Gun Gun asked the uncle who he was. The uncle replied that he was his Father Lord (父君). In the immortal realm, what does Father Lord (父君) mean? Although Bai Gun Gun, was a little fairy child who had just returned to the immortal realm, he understood very well that “父君” meant Father.

At that time, he felt shocked. He had long suspected his mother’s explanation that she was the sole parent was a lie. But at the same time, he was a careful and cautious little fairy child. He was not going to be easily deceived. Avoiding the handsome uncle's big hand patting his head, he asked the handsome uncle carefully, “You say you are my Father Lord, which means you are my father. But Mother told me that I don’t have a father, so how can you prove that you are indeed my father?”

The handsome uncle stared into the distance, a look of sadness passing over his face. He looked at him for a long time and asked, "Your mother told you that?" Gun Gun nodded earnestly. The handsome uncle patted his head again, "It’s my fault, I made you and your mother suffer."

On that very day, the two of them stayed beside his mother who was fast asleep and took care of her together for a long while.

Later, Bai Gun Gun heard directly from his trusted Uncle Xie Gu Chou that the handsome uncle who claimed to be his father was a powerful deity in the immortal world, the former Master of Heaven and Earth, and the Master of the Heavenly Jade Sea. All immortals in the Four Seas and Eight Realms must respectfully honour him as Di Jun. At the same time, Uncle Xie Gu Chou also told him that this uncle was indeed his father.

While Uncle Xie Gu Chou was telling him all about his father, another uncle holding an iron fan laughed and chimed in about him being fathered by his Father Lord as an old man. The elder brother named Zhong Lin, who was assisting his father, glanced resentfully at the man.

What is the Master of Heaven and Earth? What is the Holy Blue Sea? And what does fathering a son as an old man mean? Bai Gun Gun could not understand these words. But was the handsome uncle truly his father? He felt a little excited, a little nervous, a little shy, and a little anxious at that thought.

When he and his mother lived in seclusion in the mortal world, Gun Gun had given plenty of thought about having a father many times. He had often wondered that if he had a father, what would his father look like? The ideal father he longed for may not be on par with his mother in terms of looks, but his cooking skills needs to be better than his mother's, his swordsmanship must be better than his mother’s, and he should get up on time, never kicking away his quilt.

One afternoon, when he was ninety percent convinced that this uncle was his father, Gun Gun took the initiative to venture into his mother’s room and spent some time taking care of his mother together with his father.

Despite feeling a mix of excitement, nervousness, unease and anxiety, he used the opportunity to start a meaningful conversation with his father. Sitting on a chair that was a head taller than him, Bai Gun Gun felt a slight loss of dignity when his feet couldn't touch the ground, and instinctively straightened his back. He clenched his two hands into fists and placed them on his knees to steady himself.

He cautiously looked at his father who was sitting by his mother's bedside and said, "Uncle Xie Gu Chou says you are indeed my father, and that I should address you as Father Lord. I came looking for you today because I have several important things I wish to ask you, Father Lord."

His father was in the midst of wiping his mother’s hands with a moist cotton cloth. When he heard the words ‘Father Lord’ being involuntarily blurted out, the corners of his lips moved slightly. Seeing that it was a smile, Bai Gun Gun relaxed a little. As soon as he remembered how important this conversation was, he immediately straightened his back.

His father placed the cotton cloth into the jade basin, tucked his mother’s hand under the quilt before turning to look at him, he glanced him up and down with measured consideration, “Gun Gun, why are you sitting so straight?” Bai Gun Gun did not dare to lower his guard and replied solemnly, "Because I want to ask Father Lord some very serious questions."

His father stared at him for a while before replying, “Then go ahead and ask.”

In a tone of voice associated with the recounting of ghost stories, Bai Gun Gun asked his father, “Father Lord, are you better at cooking than mother?’

His father fell silent for a moment, "I think it’s not bad."

Brother Zhong Lin who had just entered the room to clear the jade basin fell slightly.

Bai Gun Gun did not quite understand what that meant, and asked again cautiously, "Does that mean your cooking is superior to mother's?"

His father fell silent again, ”Compared to your mother’s, there is a little bit of disparity."

Brother Zhong Lin who was clearing the jade basin fell slightly once again.

Gun Gun nodded. 'It's not bad’ probably meant that his father’s culinary skills were not as good as his mother’s. This made Gun Gun feel a little disappointed. He sighed and asked again, “My second question, is your swordsmanship better than mother’s?”

His father answered very decisively this time, "Compared to your mother’s, the difference is akin to Heaven and Earth. I am Heaven, she is Earth."

After thinking for a while, he corrected, "No, I am Heaven, she is the bottom of the sea."

Bai Gun Gun's mouth opened into a wide O. Feeling his spirits rise, he couldn’t help but persisted in asking, “Will you get up on time? Do you kick away your quilt?”

His father remained silent again, and then answered him sincerely, “Of course.” Gun Gun thought for a moment and affirmed his Father's statements, “So you get up on time, and don’t kick away the quilt?" His father nodded calmly, “Uh huh.”

With jade basin in hand, Zhong Lin glanced at his father, and appeared like he wanted to say something but decided against it, and finally left without saying anything after a quick bow.

Gun Gun sat in his chair, concluding the answers his father had given and felt quite satisfied with them. Although his father’s culinary skills were not as good as his mother’s, but they weren’t that far off. Moreover, his swordsmanship is good, he gets up on time and doesn’t kick the quilt. Although all these qualities were not extremely ideal, they were considered quite acceptable as an ideal father. He felt a sense of relief as he relaxed into the chair, a joyful smile appearing on his face. His father seemed relieved too.

But at this moment, the plate of pastries on the table unexpectedly caught his eye. Bai Gun Gun abruptly remembered an equally important question that he had forgotten and quickly sat up again, "Father Lord, I have another question!"

His father also sat upright, “Speak.”

Bai Gun Gun stretched out his two small hands, raised three fingers with one hand, and four fingers on the other. “If mother made seven salty cakes and divides them onto two dishes, one dish has three cakes and the other has four. In Father Lord's opinion, how should we divide the cakes in our household.”

His father thought for a moment, and replied, “You get three and your mother gets four.”

It had never occurred to Bai Gun Gun that despite returning to the fairy world, he would still only get three cakes if his mother made seven. He slumped into the chair, finding the answer unacceptable.

Seeing his appearance, his father replied differently, “Or as a show of filial piety, you think we should give your father three and your mother four?”

Bai Gun Gun thought that was such a ridiculous answer that he gave his father a look of disbelief. His body trembled as he climbed down the stool and walked away without a word. His little receding figure spoke volumes of his utter distress and desolation. When he reached the door, his father finally realized the problem and sincerely wanted to make amends. So he said, “Gun Gun, giving you three pieces is a sign of my thoughtful consideration. If you eat too many cakes your teeth will go bad.”

Without turning to reply, he answered dully, "Don’t bully me as if I am an insensible child, eating more sweet cakes will give me cavities but eating more salty cakes will not.”

With a courageous spirit, he opened the door and walked out.

In Bai Gun Gun’s heart, he had set out to test his father and his father had utterly failed. He was dissatisfied with this father and felt that being a little fairy child was such a difficult life. What he did not realise was that it was not difficult to be a little fairy boy, but to be a little fairy boy in the Bai family just meant more hardship.

And tonight, while on his way to tuck his mother back under the quilt in the next room, he had carelessly allowed himself to recall such distressing memories.

He sighed in earnest, and gently opened the door to his mother’s room.

A night pearl was shining by the mahogony bed, illuminating the room in a soft light. Bai Gun Gun looked up, but did not see his mother. He only saw the back of a tall jade-like figure lying on the outer part of the bed, silver hair cascading down like a waterfall. He knew that this was his father.

Although his father did not turn around, he knew that he was not asleep because he was raising his hand and adjusting the quilt. Gun Gun felt like he was sleepwalking and wasn’t particularly sober. It occurred to him that his missing mother was probably sleeping further inside the bed and lying in his father’s arms. His father's actions suggest that he was tucking his mother under the quilt.

It finally occurred to Gun Gun that for the past month, whenever he came to tuck his mother under the quilt, the door was always bolted and he couldn't push it open. He would then retreat back to his room, climb onto his bed and go back to sleep. This was the first night he was able to enter his mother's room.

Looking at the scene unfolding in front of him, Bai Gun Gun came to a realisation, Oh, my father has been tucking my mother back under the quilt for the past month. Although this father doesn't quite meet my expectations of an ideal father, this is where he has done very well. It appears that he has been taking very good care of my mother every night.

It did not occur to him that his mother was still unconscious, and it was unlikely she would be kicking her quilt away in the middle of the night. It was definitely someone else who was kicking the quilt away. But Gun Gun was too young, his thoughts still simple, so his father's actions had moved his innocent heart, and he finally felt that he could accept this kind of father.

With his heart at ease, he left his mother's room and went back to sleep sweetly.

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Credits

Picture: Tencent, Eternal Love of Dream

Story: Tang Qi, https://freewechat.com/a/MzU3MzA3NDk5Mg==/2247484160/1